Mastering Patience: The Most Underrated Personal Improvement Skill of All Time
When we think about successful people in this world, we often consider the characteristics that led them to success: their charm, work ethic, focus, and dedication.
But what if I told you there is a skill that every successful person has, yet it's rarely discussed?
It's a skill challenging to attain because we live in a society that often disregards it, yet it's fundamental for growth.
Today, we're diving into this superpower and creating ways to master it.
Let's dive into this Kool Health Article.
The Purpose of Honking
Have you ever thought about the purpose of honking? Seriously, what point does it serve?
When I pondered this, I imagined its use was to alert a child if their ball lands in the street or to notify a distracted driver when the light turns green.
However, if you live in a large metropolitan area, you quickly realize this thought is futile. People honk for absolutely no reason, sitting in dead traffic, yet they're honking.
Why on earth are they honking when they know they aren't moving anytime soon, stuck in rush hour?
The reason is frustration at the fact that they cannot shape time and reality to their endless pursuit of going fast.
It's a howl of rage at the fact that time is not moving as fast as they would like it to.
The Problem with Our Society and Speed
It's challenging to establish, but we have become much more impatient as a society.
From stats showing road rage to the dwindling time spent on social media videos, to the number of readers, or even time at the gym, everyone is trying to get to places quicker and get things done faster.
We crave results until they're no longer satisfying.
A crazy stat I found: if Amazon's front page loaded one second more slowly, the company would lose $1.6 billion in annual sales.
This is crazy, though, because as a society, we have become much more efficient.
Our technology is faster, our cars are quicker, groceries are a click of a button away, and food can be prepared or served in minutes, even seconds.
You would think that this addiction of sorts to speed, would be recognized as harmful, but no, our society loves it, and our friends will applaud you for it. But are we satisfied with this?
Not so fast.
Impatience in Everyday Life
We have become more agitated that we can't go even faster.
It's a resistance to our built-in human limitations.
Each new advancement that makes us go faster makes us feel almost in control of our time, and we can finally do everything we're supposed to be doing.
All of the crazy things on our to-do list are unattainable. Every time we realize we can't do everything at lightning speed, this makes us more prone to becoming frustrated.
Even if we can control our emotions toward impatience, the people around us and our society will frustrate us because the expectations of how things happen are increasing.
Maybe at work, you were only supposed to work on 20 emails an hour, but with faster technology, we are now supposed to be doing 40 emails an hour.
Now your entire employment depends on your ability to do so, regardless of how unrealistic these expectations are.
Readers are finding it more difficult to sit down and read. Even the founder of the public domain audiobook service LibriVox said, "I've been finding it harder and harder to concentrate on words, sentences, paragraphs."
What was once a relaxing experience has now turned into a drag.
Why?
Because we're feeling this overarching doom that we need to get everything done, and that makes us feel impatient.
Most people would argue that it's the fact that we do not have enough time in this world to do leisure activities, but it's the fact that we won't allow ourselves the time because we're too impatient to give ourselves over to the task.
We're now more inclined to interruption than ever before.
We're unwilling to accept the fact that most of the activities in our lives still take time.
They take time, and you can't shorten it.
If you hurry too much, the activity either loses its meaning, or you don't do it correctly, whatever that may be.
Some people note that as soon as they slow down, they feel an impending sense of anxiety come upon them, and they look for something to take it away, whether it's another social media scroll diving back into the to-do list, or pounding the stair master.
It's a form of self-medication to dampen our ability to understand our emotions.
The Problems with Going Too Fast
There are many problems with going too fast.
Traffic research has long shown that impatient driving tends to slow you down. Inching forward at a red light is self-defeating. Once you move again, you barely accelerate because you're trying not to slam into the back of the other car. '
The same goes for many situations in our lives:
Working too fast means you're prone to make more mistakes and errors, then you'll have to go back and correct them.
Hurrying a toddler to get dressed to leave the house usually results in a frustrated child and parent and a wacky wardrobe.
Rushing cooking means you'll burn the meat or anything else when you try to flame it at high temperatures.
Bonus Traffic Tip:
I'll be in rush hour, hanging way back in the rafters, and then once I have space, I accelerate to feel as if I'm going somewhere. Biohack of the year;)
As the world gets faster, the expectations are set too high for us to move at light warp speed, whether it's our job, our family success, or whatever, and we grow anxious about being unable to keep up.
So, we move faster to try and keep a sense of control.
This only makes things worse and throws us into an addictive spiral.
We push ourselves to get rid of the anxiety, but it never goes away because the faster we go, the clearer it becomes we'll never succeed in moving as fast as we feel necessary, or the world feels.
And we suffer because of it:
Poor diet because we eat fast food.
Poor relationships because we don't cultivate them.
Poor connection to yourself because we run away.
You want to stop, but it feels as though you can't.
Though there is a thrill to this lifestyle, feeling as if you go at all times non-stop. Rush, and exhilaration, it's all there when you crush everything on the to-do list, get every single task done in record time, gym in 20 instead of 30 minutes, beat traffic, etc.
How do we figure this out?
How do we become comfortable with what we're doing, regain an appreciation for our hobbies, do activities that don't have an end goal in sight, rather just the act of doing, and how on earth do we relax again?
The Solution
Just like in Alcoholics Anonymous, the true insight is that you can't truly hope to beat alcohol until you give up the hope of beating alcohol.
You're no longer able to fool yourself into seeing that the alcoholic can't use alcohol to control his emotions anymore, just as we can't control our emotions by going at light warp speed.
We, speed addicts, must crash to earth and surrender to the reality that things take time, and you can't quiet this anxiety of speed by going faster because it isn't within your power to force reality and the universe to work on your schedule.
Slow down and accept that it will take a while.
Your Body Transformation will take time
Picking out your dream home will take time
Starting a YouTube channel will take time
That school project: yeah buddy like 3 hours.
This change in perspective changes everything.
In "4000 Weeks," Oliver Berkeman states amazingly, “When you finally face the truth that you can't dictate how fast things go, you stop trying to outrun your anxiety, and your anxiety is transformed.”
Instead of a work project that you try to speed up as fast as possible because you know it will take forever, and knowing it will take long makes it almost enjoyable now.
You can sit back and go deep into the process.
Even my writing this piece makes it okay to be writing this piece. I know it will take a while to extract this information and distill it for you. You begin to cultivate an appreciation for staying down for the long run and entering a flow state.
You give up the result in second and instant fixes. You can now breathe a sigh of relief as you dive into reality.
You become clear of your limitations, and that is the most beautiful realization you can have.
Now you begin to capture the most underappreciated human power.
More Solutions to Cultivate Patience:
Set realistic expectations.
Practice gratitude.
Deliberately slow down activities.
Focus on one task at a time.
Engage in mindful breathing exercises.
Regularly disconnect from technology.
Learn to accept uncertainty.
Prioritize self-care.
Reflect on impatience triggers.
Seek inspirational stories.
Practical Ways to Develop Patience
Offering actionable advice for cultivating patience in daily life.
Methods and Examples:
Mastering new skills: Set specific goals and practice regularly.
Daily routines: Incorporate meditation or journaling.
Facing setbacks: Adjust expectations and celebrate small achievements.
Building relationships: Practice active listening and dedicated interactions.
Decision-making: Use a structured approach and seek advice.
Creative projects: Break tasks into steps and schedule regular work times.
Emotional understanding: Reflect on past experiences and seek educational resources.
That is all, guys.
Cheers for diving into this marathon with me. I felt I had a lot to talk about on this one, so thank you for reading all the way through.
As we navigate the fast-paced world around us, remember that the journey towards cultivating patience is a marathon, not a sprint.
It's about embracing each moment, learning from our experiences, and growing at our own pace.
In closing, I want to express my love and gratitude to each of you for joining me on this exploration.
Let's carry these insights forward, practicing patience in our daily lives and spreading kindness wherever we go.
With love and gratitude,
Jack