Who Are the 5 People Shaping Your Life?
How to upgrade your life by finding your “positive tribe” — and why science says it’s more than a motivational quote.
If you’ve ever heard someone say “you are who you surround yourself with” and rolled your eyes, I get it. It sounds like another Pinterest quote your aunt would send you.
But science — and maybe even your gut — says it’s true.
Our brains are wired with mirror neurons, an ancestral survival mechanism that made sure we mimicked our tribe for safety, belonging, and trust. It means we unconsciously copy the facial expressions, habits, and thought patterns of the people around us.
There’s also something called emotional contagion — the energy and moods you’re around tend to stick to you, even if you don’t notice it.
In other words, if you hang around five angry, negative people, you’ll start to feel more frustrated and hopeless.
If you’re around five people who care about their health, purpose, and growth, you’ll probably start eating better, working out more, and dreaming bigger.
The question isn’t whether this happens. It’s: Who are your five?
And if they aren’t who you want to become… how do you find better ones?
My Wake-Up Call in Dallas
‘I’ll be honest — when I first moved to Dallas, this hit me like a freight train.
I had my coworkers, my old college friends, my amazing girlfriend… but no one in my circle was waking up at 5 a.m. to do yoga, rip espresso shots, talk about biohacking, or build something meaningful.
It felt like I was living two separate lives: the one I wanted to build, and the one my social circle defaulted to.
The turning point? Vulnerability.
I started putting myself out there — striking up random conversations, even if it felt awkward. Saying things like, “Hey, I love that jacket,” or “Yo, this elevator lighting is actually kind of peaceful, right?” (I’m a little odd, so I lean into it.)
One of the best places I found new friends was the Katy Trail — a six-mile path in Dallas that runs from downtown to near SMU.
People run, walk, bike, and in my case, longboard. It’s one of the few spots here where you actually see nature, sun, smiling people, and movement — and the energy is contagious.
I met one of my best friends there. He was biking. I was skating. He pointed at me as we passed, disappeared, then came back 30 minutes later.
He stops, pulls off his helmet, and says:
“Hermano, how are you, my friend? What is your purpose out here?”
I said, “Just skating.”
He goes, “No, what is your purpose… in life?”
That’s when I knew he’d be one of my closest friends.
Now we meet every morning, 7 to 9 a.m., at a coffee shop before work.
We rip espresso shots, work on our businesses, share vulnerabilities, and hype each other up.
The Playbook: How to Find Your Five
Start with Yourself (Yes, Really).
If you’re closed off from the world — stuck in past trauma, resentment, or self-doubt — the best people will never “find” you. Open your heart first. Smile more. Walk with presence. Do a short meditation. Tell yourself (out loud, if you dare) that you love yourself. You’ll radiate something different, and people feel it.Be the One Who Speaks First.
People want connection, but they’re scared. Compliment their shoes. Comment on the weather, the weird elevator lighting, or whatever’s real in the moment. Half the battle is just breaking the ice.Go Where People Move.
Positive energy lives where people are moving — running trails, beaches, parks, gyms. Nature is the great equalizer. If you’re in Dallas, hit Katy Trail. In Austin, Zilker Park. In New York, Central Park on a sunny day.Join Actual Communities.
Online or in-person. Meetup groups, biohacking forums (Ben Greenfield’s app is great), conferences, fitness classes, or even your local “weird trendy shop.” You don’t need hundreds of people — just one or two good ones can change your entire vibe.Practice Social Confidence.
Breathwork and magnesium can calm social anxiety. Nootropics can sharpen your focus so you’re with people, not stuck in your head. And honestly? Practice embarrassing yourself a little — it kills the fear of rejection.
Other Ways to Meet Amazing People
Active spots in your city – Trails, beaches, or parks (Zilker Park in Austin, Central Park on a sunny day in New York, etc.)
Online groups – Meetup, or niche forums like Ben Greenfield’s new biohacking app
Biohacking and health conferences – Everyone’s there to connect and learn
Weird, trendy shops – The kind of spots where people are curious and open
How to Open Your Heart (So These People Find You)
Walk while smiling. Do a short “walking meditation.”
Tell yourself you love yourself (out loud works).
Radiate positivity, even when you’re tired.
Practice being present (and even embarrassing yourself a little).
Use breathwork and adaptogens to calm social anxiety.
Take nootropics so you can actually focus on your friends.
Remind yourself: we only get one life — why not spend it around people who lift you up?
The Truth
The truth is, building your “positive tribe” isn’t about luck or knowing the right people.
It’s about becoming open, showing up, and realizing that most people want connection just as badly as you do.
Upgrade yourself, open your heart, and watch the right five people show up — because they’re already looking for you, too.
And yes, you are always my friend. For life.
Please shoot me a message, phone call, or DM, I am here for you❤️
💌 What’s one small thing you’re going to do today?
And if you know someone who needs a little fire under their ass—send this their way.
I’m grateful to my partners who create amazing health & wellness products.
Great reminder! Heading to my place this morning!